I am doing this post to answer a question.
I have a blog reader that is questioning having a child because of what she is seeing with her friends that are now having children. She knows that having a child can be a difficult life change but she is noticing that these new moms seem to make it all so complicated with constant worry, obsessively doting, have an over abundance of gadgets which brings on much complaining.
This is concerning to the one in question as she would like to have children at some point but with her observation it gives her concern about having children, enough to postpone having a child of her own.
She asked if I have any posts about rearing children as she keeps thinking how the earlier years did not appear to be complicated and she would like to raise her future child as generations before us did.
I feel this is a very good question and I would love to answer because I have the same observations.
So let us clear our mind and think simple...
Remember our old journal that we have that records the life of a family from the late 1800s to around 1940? In this journal of expenditures several times we see purchases for their daughter Erma.
Shoes for Erma, a piece of candy for Erma, Rubber boots, and later on through the years, music lessons for Erma.
I do believe that in our present time bringing home baby has become much too complicated.
These are my thoughts. A woman has 7 to 9 months depending when she realizes that she is expecting a baby to get ready for this child.
During this time she should be decluttering her home and preparing for this child. Life will be much different and she and her baby will need time to adjust, eat and sleep. She will have household tasks to do during this time and food to prepare so her life should be made less complicated for when she comes home with the baby.
I don't see this being done much anymore. What I see is the house filling with more stuff to combine with all the other stuff.
Today's world seems out of control in my opinion. People need to move to a larger house to hold all the baby equipment which in my opinion creates work overload for the parents to have this much "Stuff" in their home.
Marketing is responsible for a lot of this and our obsession with "Stuff".
What our baby needs is "Our undivided attention", nourishment, a bed, diapers, clothing. We need to be making good eye contact with our babies, and not distracted as so many are today. The cell phones need to be put away and the televisions need to be turned off. Of course this is just my opinion but I have seen enough to know the difference.
So many people are over stimulating and making things complicated. Have you noticed how "Loud" children are today? Have you noticed how many "Plastic" baby items the child is exposed to?
If our homes are not over full and mom and dad are off the phones there will be time to take care of baby.
The first six weeks is difficult because of sleep deprivation but this can be helped when Mom sleeps when baby sleeps. Who does this anymore? Now days the new moms take to social media and just zone out flipping through that plastic window in whatever gadget they are using instead of resting.
They will grow faster than you ever can imagine and before you know it they will be graduating from College. It is only a short time that we have them as babies so we should not be selfish during this time and become lazy parents. I believe it makes a difference.
In the past babies had playtime and as they got older they started getting bedtimes. Sleep is very important but today you can go to the store at most anytime day and night and see parents with their overtired children.
Often today televisions stay on until late at night or all night long and parents use electronics to babysit their children but what is that doing to our children?
I know that in today's world many things are made to make life easier for Mom's and Dad's but is it good for the baby? Is it really making things easier? The best thing for the baby is to not be exposed to so many chemicals, and to have the attention from the mom and dad.
There are still a lot of good parents today and they are trying their best to raise their children in a good way.
To raise a child we must be present. I am talking about mentally present.
I am happy to say that there are parents today that are starting to "Get it" They realize that something is off and not right for raising children and have started taking a more old fashioned approach to raising their children.
Many have switched to cloth diapers and trying to keep chemicals out of their homes and they are throwing out the plastic. This takes a lot of work but they are doing it for the sake of their family and this is what it is all about, being a real mom and dad and spending the time it takes to do it right.
Some have changed their homes and are teaching their children hand work and how to do things. One in particular, Sheri that has been changing to a more vintage lifestyle. Her children know how to work on looms and are being exposed to many of the old ways of doing things in and outside of the home. Sheri cooks homemade meals and they all work together planting food in their back gardens and at the same time Sheri keeps a beautiful home as this vintage life is being made in a very modern home so we do not need to move to a farmhouse to accomplish this.
Children need the opportunity to live a simple life so they can develop their own imaginations. They need play time that does not include electronics. I feel the internet is a good thing for us adults so we can learn and share but I feel that social media and many other gadgets are not good as it leads to addiction. I see it with my own Grandchildren.
If you are an overwhelmed mom or dad reading this then just take some deep breaths and make a plan to make life less complicated.
If your children are whining and disruptive, if they have terrible sleep habits then take control to help them. We have to lead by example. Turn off the television early, if you have given them cell phones and electronic gadgets have them turn them in to you before dinner and lock them up until the next day. You are the adult and they are the child.
As a parent it is our responsibility to nourish our children and also to make sure they get enough sleep. We have to be the ones to set the rules.
If you have them in activities that go late into the night then you most likely need to rethink this decision. Most of the activities that go late into the night are money draining activities anyway.
With a new baby we have the opportunity do it right from the start. We can make our plans, be ready for this change and embrace this new old way of thinking how we will raise this beautiful baby in a more simple way. Will it be easy? Not at first, this baby will cry and fret as babies do but then they start getting a more settled pattern.
You don't have to put off having a baby because of what you see in other people. You have the opportunity to do it better. It will not be perfect as none of us are perfect, just keep it simple and be present. Grandma Donna