Comments On Article: The Making Of A Home

I’ve really enjoyed reading all about your homes and imagining how they all are in the different parts of the world.

We live in an Edwardian ( 1910 ) cottage in a rural village in Suffolk which is a county on the eastern side of England, UK. It’s of brick construction and used to be a 2 up, 2 down workers cottage for people working for a large farm that was on the site in years gone by. We’ve been here for 19 years now and a couple of years before we moved in it was extended to add a large reception room plus two more bedrooms & bathroom upstairs. The garden is large by UK standards and surrounds the cottage which means plenty of room for homegrown veg, herbs and flowers. 
I cook on an electric stove as the gas hasn’t been brought up to the cottage, our heating is oil-fired which has made the last few weeks a tad interesting :) but thank goodness we are now into spring here so can limit the use as much as possible.

It’s not posh or fancy but I love my home and those I share it with, ie hubbie and our rescue dog, it’s been a sanctuary through tough and sad times so I count my blessings every day.

Joyce C, Do you ever "pet" the tops of the clumps of dutchman's breeches foliage, and watch the whole clump jiggle as though it were made of gel?  I think that's my favorite thing about them :)

Sreekala N, Welcome to the forum, and thank you for giving that sweet half feral cat a warm dry place to sleep :)

Welcome Sreekala to the forum,  and thank you Tea for your warm welcome for Sreekala.  

We are from many places in the world but we do have so many similarities when it comes to our home and our families.  I love sitting by windows, our house has short windows  except for two narrow long windows so your bay window sounds lovely.  You must miss your kitty. 

I enjoy making bread and I often try to learn how to make bread common in other countries.  I will be making Naan bread soon as Charles loves Naan from the store so it must be even better made from scratch.  I enjoy making flat bread because it can be made in a short amount of time.  We are happy that you are here.   Grandma Donna

Everyone, I have been enjoying reading descriptions of your homes, this has given us a different way of knowing each other. Continue to share if you have not already or like another time discuss something that you would like to either learn about or share with others things that are helpful to for the home.  Anywhere home is, or whatever it is you call home, we are interested to know and to learn from.   :)  

My first adult home was a very tiny apartment above an older Victorian style home with unstable stairs at the back of the house.  There were two apartments at the top of this house and paper thin walls between the two apartments.  Our bathrooms were side by side, and that was quite interesting. ;o I was quite concerned about leaving and coming back because I was not sure the stairs would hold.  That tiny apartment became home and made many fond memories.  Grandma Donna 

Lainey your home sounds like my youthful dream!!!

I can't say I have fond memories of our first apartment.  It was in an older house, two rooms and a shared bath.  Cockroaches and three strange landladies who used to turn off the heat when we were gone and froze my African violets.  Landladies also came into our apartment whenever we were gone.  I was 17 just married and didn't have a good handle on dealing with three strange older ladies.  

The next apartment was bigger, private bath, only one crazy landlady and I moved in with great hopes and started making it our home ...  soon discovered it was overrun with cockroaches and mice, and I had a new baby ... few good memories there either.  Son and I would likely have died of carbon monoxide had the place not been so drafty.  Gas company flagged the furnace as deadly just after we moved out.  Being poor and with no choice but to stay was very detrimental to my mental health ... cockroaches crawling over my baby at night and occasionally me as well.  

Living so poor for those first years taught me how to live frugal which has stood me well through the years.  Also, taught me to be thankful for even not so nice places as long as they are free from roaches and vermin.  I've had to deal with mice several places we lived but never ever another cockroach.  An attitude of gratitude goes a long way.

Thank you, that’s a lovely thing to say :

I think our first home which was small sits with me so, since I remember when I first got married and saw it.  I was in heaven. I though it was just so darn cute!  Easy to decorate, small packs a punch! Since then we just went big for some reason. I guess because we could.  I'm grateful our home is free and clear of mortgage, but I should be more content. I saw my neighbor yesterday whose home I adore. It's not fancy, but hit's HER. She was sitting out front yesterday, I stopped by and told her how I love her new door color -she's such a free spirit.  Menopause did me no favors in the anxiety area, so people like that are a medication to my soul.  She's crafty and good at it. She quilts and paints and creates outdoor things.  After moving from Wi in '89, I've never had any mentors, nor found anyone truly interested in "home" anything.  Wi was good for thrifting, and planting, land and acreage, and AZ just is different. There seems to be a lack of interest. It's been hard in this way.  Even the people are different. Less "homey." I used to do all these things, then got away from it and it's like starting over.  I think the size makes it hard for me due to cost, size, impact, and destructive pets don't help. Smaller is better on the pocketbook and planning with decorating. So I don't know if this counts, but I need inspiration in thinking, "it's just paint." "You only live once." It seems when I decorate, the impact doesn't convey.  Plus I can't just run to the store - that's a 2 hour round trip. How about some homey advice or a good slap in the head on contentment. :)  Do you purchase supplies like fabric online anywhere? Also I'm looking for ideas on how to cover or change the glass insert on a cabinet door. I tried to do a curtain but it's weird - it won't fit as the hinge and cabinet are too close to the edge.

Ann E.,

Is the glass damaged in some way, or do you just not like being able to see into that cabinet?  Because I've seen reverse painted glass come out real nice.  You can use ordinary latex paint.  Either a solid color or (what my friend did) paint a pattern you like on the inside of the glass in one color, let it dry, then paint the whole thing in a different color, right over your pattern, which will still show through the glass from the front.  She did an entire kitchen that way because it was all glass cabinets, and she didn't want every day kitchen storage like boxes of cereal or tupperware containers "on display."  Kind of makes you wonder what the previous owners were thinking with that design choice.  Did they actually use their kitchen?

Tea S:

It is not damaged. I just don't have anything nice to put in it and I don't like looking at it anymore. They used to be at another cabinet location which made even less sense, so I moved them to above the desk area. I've been struggling with it for years! 

I never thought of paint! What a great idea!  And yes.... I do wonder if they used their kitchen, because not everything looks nice! LOL. Thanks!

You could also use peel and stick wallpaper. I have seen some beautiful patterns at the Dollar Tree.  Some are so pretty that I tried to think of somewhere I could use them. LOL

Can I ask.....are you felling "stuck" where you are living?  If so , that is a terrible feeling....but maybe if you rearranged just one small seating area just for you. Maybe some cozy throws and a foot stool along with a   plant or 2 and some candles on a side table interspersed with some interesting rocks and pieces of found wood (small).

Maybe start a mood board or scrapbook /notebook with things written that you have seen in other places and then work with what you already own to resemble that look. It doesn't have to be an exact copy just something you can assemble and live with. IF it doesn't work pick out what it is about it that you like and try again. Try doing small areas at a time.

My first house when newly married was 4 very small rooms, the bedroom was so small we had to put the head of the bed into the closet!  But it was what we could afford and I furnished it with second hand everything the only new things we owned were wedding gifts.

Wonderful answers, ideas and suggestions going on here.  I love it. :) Grandma Donna

Joyce C: 

LOL on the closet bed. I was so resilient when I was younger! I'd have thought that to be fun.  I'll have to check the dollar tree. The glass has beveled panes too so it makes it a little difficult. I have saved pics on my laptop that I go through.   Ultimately, you pegged it. I feel stuck and a bit lost.  Everything I like, I can't find and Mr. Grumpy hates furniture changes.  I covet the times when I could rearrange at will and the homes were condusive to it, with walls and corners. ;) Plus, I'm pretty much a home-body and really tired of my stuff after 25 years. I think that this house just has never reflected me at all as I like cozy, smaller areas.   Home was always the most important to me and it's difficult when I get complaints over things I absolutely 100% always loved doing. Sort of kills the joy.

I know someone mentioned they had a screened in patio. I also have one.  I was thinking of hanging some fun outdoor decor on the lower portion of the walls and making it into more of plant area. It's difficult since it's all shade w/only am sun in AZ - that can be hot. I lost my favorite fica tree as it froze and forgot to bring it in.  I think that beats a dust bucket with a table, don't you think? ;O)  Even if no one will sit out there with me, I can like it, right?

I absolutely love this post. After many years of teaching, I have more time for making my house a home

One of the frustrating things about making a home is that other people live here! Lol. When you live with people who don't see piled up cardboard boxes in the hallway as an eyesore (for over a year!) or don't get that making a house a home takes effort and time it can feel like a useless project. For awhile I just didn't try. However, I decided that within this space I can carve out/create areas that reflect that home feel/cozy comfort I need and want my home to be.

I realized that getting rid of some of my own clutter and unused stuff opened up space I could use as I wanted. I just can't look at other's mess or think about it if I want to have good mental health. I focus on what I can control. Note I'm doing this around people who don't like change so some things I wish for will probably never happen. Still there are things I'm doing that make me very happy and contribute to a calm and welcoming space.

I am neater than my husband so he gets our extra third bedroom to do whatever he wants. He decorates it the way he wants and puts all of his hobby things in it. It has a desk and computer so he can work without disruption. He also gets half of the garage. He builds things, so there's tools and lumber on his side and all of the gardening things on the other side. I mention this because those who are looking for a comfortable space in their home could maybe take a room for their own and make it how they want, and tell husbands OUT! :) 

Hi there. I love your blog. I am a long time reader of your blog and Rhonda's blog from Down to Earth. I recently found her when she started to write again. When I click on the link, it says I must be invited to read her blog. I don't know how to be invited, and this has never happened before. Do you know how to be able to get an invite?  

Thanks in advance for your help. Your lovely blog is helping me cope during this awful time.

Sincerely,

Cynthia from Maryland 

We live in a 4 bedroom, Cinder Block built 1952 house in Florida, about where South Florida begins. Slab foundation, All electric. As for cooking, now that we are empty nesters, we use the toaster oven much more than the big oven, and we use the Crockpot and Instant Pot often. Though on a city lot of about .33 acres, we have a very wooded lot. We have an area in the backyard with lots of flora and fauna (Water Oaks, Carrotwood (whatever that is), Palm trees of all sorts, ferns, etc.) and we made a walking path through it and call it our “Woodland Path”. It is bordered by neighbors fences, but they are brown wood, so they blend in. 

We are indoor/outdoor shoe people, as I stretch and exercise on my living room rug (house is all ceramic tile), so I don’t want any outdoor shoes on it! My face spends some time down near it every night! lol  We also have black sand in our area… and when the kids were little, the white tile would get filthy!!! As would their feet! (And then the bathtub! lol) 

I have so enjoyed reading about everyone's homes around the world! I've lived in many, many homes over my adult years, due to moving frequently on different Army postings around Australia. My (then) husband and I would renovate a house over 2 years for one posting, then take a break and live in an Army house at the next. Our first house when we married was a tiny little fibro & weatherboard house in an Airforce base. I remember the kitchen benches were bright orange laminate, so I found a second hand round brown laminex table which came with 4 vinyl chairs of the same bright orange, to make the kitchen blend in better with the rest of the basic furniture we acquired! My current home is the longest I've lived in as an adult - post-separation so it's mine and the first I could make all the decisions on alone. It's a brick veneer built in the late 1990s and I'm the second owner. We've been here 9 years now. It has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. It did have a single car garage, but my Dad and I converted it into an extra "bedroom" when my 5 children and I moved in, as I was sleeping on the couch as it was originally designed for an elderly widow (her 2 sons built it for her). With how my priorities have changed over the years, in hindsight I would have just made do and had more children in each room. Still, it's home and a very comfortable safe place for me and my last child still at home. It's on quite a small block, but I've used every bit of space to grow food. Veggies and a mini-orchard in the front yard (as the back is too small), chooks out the back, and about to collect a pair of rabbits for breeding some of our own meat next week. I'm on the grid, but try to use as little electricity as possible - no mains gas available yet in our street, so if I wanted to cook with gas I'd need to get bottles instead. I have a wood heater though which I can also cook on top of and often do in winter. I wouldn't say I'm minimalist but I don't like excess clutter - everything needs to be useful or beautiful to stay. I like the term I read in someone's comments above - "enoughist" - that sounds like me too!

Cynthia L, Rhonda retired her blog, there is no invite, that is just a generic notice that was put on  by the blog server because her blog is closed.  

Rhonda and Gracie are at home enjoying a comfortable simple life enjoying retirement,  their home life, and gardening.

Grandma Donna: We own an apartment condominium that is almost 1500 sqft (2 bedroom/2bath) in Wellesley, Ma located just outside of Boston. We have a balcony with a large planter and four chairs too. Our condo includes a storage unit and a basement garage with 2 parking spots (we use one and rent one). I love having a covered garage during our rough winter season. We also have a shared pool for residents and it is our favorite family activity to swim and lounge during the summer. We are right in the center of town and can walk to the public schools, bank, library, town hall, restaurants, and the commuter rail. We have a summer concert series on the town green, a Memorial Day parade…I love that my home is here.  A fun fact to share: Wellesley is located at the mid-way point of the Boston Marathon route. In fact, this Monday is Patriot’s Day/Marathon Monday and everything shuts down along the course route. Folks set up lawn chairs to cheer the runners, eat picnic lunches, and enjoy the day. 

Thank you for responding so quickly. I am sad that I cannot see the old posts anymore.  Her whole orange cake recipe is the one my children request every year for their birthdays. I knew that she had  stopped, and then a few weeks ago she started writing again. But even when she had stopped for a time, the blog was still readable.  Just to be clear, are you saying that no one is able to read her old blog posts anymore? 

Cynthia L, no one can read her blog posts.  There is no invite, it is just a generic statement.

Thank you.  I enjoy your blog so much. You are the voice of wisdom and common sensein this increasingly  chaotic country and world.  This community that you have built is  a comfort to me, and an inspiration. So I want to thank you for being here. I have been a long time reader, but I do not comment very often, but know that I do read your essays, and I aspire to have as clean, and as beautiful home as you have here.  

Sincerely,

Cynthia 

Cynthia L, it is sad that Rhonda has chosen to take her blog away entirely but I do understand her position, it just made sense after the problems she had - and she can now enjoy her 'retirement' gracefully.

I'm very grateful for the fact that our home has a big carport outside (for when we had a caravan, which we sold) and a lock up garage - our car is safely inside, and not out for anyone to steal or syphon petrol now which is happening more and more.

In this area, homes have neither attic or basements so what you see is what you get.  We do have a small patio at the front, rarely used due to weather, but a very big, covered verandah at the back which is what we use all the time.

Our office area is downstairs where we each have a desktop computer/desk/drawers etc with a laser printer for both of us, filing cabinet, storage chests etc are all down here.  As well, a comfy lounge setting, hifi set and cupboard, and some other storage as well as a big freezer and bar fridge.  Our old kitchen was also installed down here for convenience when the new one went in upstairs.  We moved the laundry/washing machine/cupboards outside to give more space.

I've been reading through the replies and it prompted me to actually work out the size of my portacabin.  I rent it from a very laid back landlord and, as I've been here for almost 7 years, consider it my home.

It is tiny though, 32ftX10ft, which makes it only a total of 320 sq feet (if my maths is correct!).  However, as there's only me and my cat, it's plenty big enough. I have a nice sized bedroom, a shower and toilet room (no sink but the kitchen sink is literally a couple of feet away),and a kitchen and living area.  I've spent the last year or so making it more like a home than before (thanks in part to this blog and forum!) and apart from a few minor tweaks- I have it as I want it.

I don't have a lot of possessions, aside from books, my homeopathy books and supplies and my sewing and knitting stash.  I'm currently working on using up what I have  before buying anything else though as, living in such a small space, there isn't a lot of storage space. Living in such a small space also needs that I need to think very carefully about what I bring into my home

Outside I have a small (tiny), raised bed garden area and one of those generic polytunnels that frequently blows away- no matter how firmly I attempt to secure it.  I'm seriously thinking of getting a couple of smaller ones that I can nestle against the side of the portacabin. I'm trying to grow as much fruit and vegetables as possible this year;  aiming for a degree of self-reliance that seems even more important these days.

The wind is a bit of an issue here as I live about 8 minutes walk from the coast and there's nothing between my home and the sea! It's a beautiful place to live though - I count myself as truly blessed to live here. A couple of years ago, when we had a really hot summer I spent hours on what is virtually a deserted beach (pebbles and very little sand so not really popular with families). Then the cool breeze from the sea was most welcome! I love the sound of the waves breaking on the shore but don't visit is nearly as much as I should do!

Where I live is situated about 3 miles from a small town so it's walkable. The town has everything except for a fishmongers (and I'm not really that keen on seafood) and a place to buy fabric and yarn. However, the nearest city has both and, as I said, I've been trying to use up my (rather extensive!), stash.  

Theres's no gas here so my heating and cooking are all done via electric.  I'd love to fit a wood stove but... I try to keep my electricity use down to a minimum and as I have a camper van with three solar panels on her top, I'm very conscious about the 'pull' of electric power.  I have solar lamps and now that the spring and summer months are here I intend to live outside as much as possible. 

I always wanted to live in a Tiny House by the seaside and, now that I've almost retired, I guess I'm living my best life!

Your blog and this forum are SO inspirational G'Donna, this particular post, exceptionally so.  Thank you!

Sheryl C. I would love to have your little house near the sea.  It sounds wonderful.  When my husband and I were first married we lived near the coast in an apartment complex.  Livingroom, eat in kitchen, 2 bedrooms and 1 bath and I liked being able to go to the beach every weekend.  What I didn't like was the cockroaches.  In that wet area we had lots of cockroaches.  The apartments were built so the plumbing was back to back.  When the people in the apartment on the kitchen side moved out the cockroaches all came over.  In the morning when I would make sandwiches for our lunches they would come out of the crack between the counter and the wall and try to get crumbs.  The landlord would spray and we put out a bug fogger and it would help for a short time but didn't last.

We now live away from he coast and don't have the cockroach problem, but there are mice around, not in the house, but I have had them inside in times past.  We built this house and moved in in 1981 and it seems like with all the repairs we have been making we are rebuilding it.  

I think when you have a mess over months or years that some people just don't see it.  I just try to declutter and get rid of the mess and then people might notice how much nicer it is and look around for things they should clear or maybe not.

I wish my house was a home.  I am sad that it isn't.  I don't know how.

ZT: I have struggled with this in two of the four houses that we purchased over the 59 years we have been married. I knew how to make a house a home, but I didn't like the houses. I am highly sensitive and if something feels wrong, it always is wrong for me. 

You might think about what colors, textures, decoration and organization that makes you happy, then implement those into your home. What smells do you connect with that say home to you, that is important, also. 

Not everyone has had the opportunity to be taught or to have experienced a "home," growing up. I had to learn alot on my own, after my grandmother passed over, and I had to learn about myself more importantly. If it is not just you, then other people will have an opinion. If it causes conflict find a space in your home for yourself and put what you like in that space.

I will be thinking of you and wish you happiness and peace.

Glenda H_2 It is sometimes very difficult to make a homey feel in a house you don't like, but it's still worth the effort.  I moved 12 times with my parents before I moved into my first apartment at age 17.  After I was married at 17, we moved 10 times in 16 years and when we moved into the 16th house I swore I was NEVER moving again.  Guess what, a tornado came along and we moved into a camper, then another camper, then to a motel, then with friends, then into motel, into a FEMA trailer and finally into a new house.  I learned NEVER to say NEVER again!!!!!!!!  I've lived in that final house for 47 years and hope to stay until my final day, but I know better than to say I'm never moving!

I think "home" is more of a feeling for/in a place than how it's decorated.  To me home means comfort more than style.  Back in the 1950s when midcentury modern came into vogue, I found homes decorated and furnished in that style extremely uncomfortable.  I'm more of a traditionalist and have always been.  Currently my home reflects my budget more than my taste but it's comfortable.  

Dear Glenda H_2,

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words!

This is what "hygge" is all about, Donna. That calm and lovely feeling.
And I love your green snowflake linen.
This is my favourite space, my little library my husband built for me about 15 years ago. The table is 120 years old and plays a melody when opening the lid. I love it.