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Quote: I said to Charles, "I want to live somewhere that is normal, I want to go somewhere where people make sense and treat others with kindness".
I think I've said this to my husband OFTEN. There has to be a place like it. A place that is set off, set apart. As much as I despise my sq footage and living in the boonies, I think it is a good thing, but I do miss a real community people like it used to be.
Just in my own home is frustrating. Appliances are junk. TV is a joke. The programs have the same topics and you have to pay to get access then pay to watch some movies that are OLD that you used to watch and already have seen for free. I could toss that thing out the window if I was single. I can't keep my phone on. I get no less than 5 calls of spam just on someone telling me they have financing for me. Double that since it's also a voicemail. That is just that particular topic. There are more! The junk they make, the lack of stores, the lack of selections from home decor, furniture, to food is ridiculous. Every time my phone updates it's one more unneeded addition or hacking and don't get me started on AI. EVERYTHING is fake. And not only fake, AI is downright scary. They have no handle on AI. AI gives out incorrect information from health to chats to whatever else. I bypass a quick search. But the ramifications on a bigger level government wise and military wise are really scary.
Everything is bad for you, first it's eggs, then it's meat, then it's something else. Now we have microplastics in the brain, yet I can't find socks of all things that aren't plastic or fabric that doesn't stink. 100% cotton is so hard to find. I ordered some pajamas and I sweat so bad I felt like I was a sweaty sock in a shoe! I forgot to look at what it was made of. YUCK. I tossed it.
I don't want to play anymore. But I am very happy that this site is a normal place. Thank you for keeping us normal.
Ann E, I feel the same way about AI! I feel like I can’t believe anything, and so AI things are so obviously wrong.
Donna, I have found myself just depressed all the time because of everything going on that I just don’t want to do anything
Awe, I hear you G. Donna (((hugs))). I think part of what is missed of the past was a "God fearing society." I don't entirely mean this religiously. Even if someone wasn't religious, they had common decency or were taught it. Now it seems those without it are protected instead of taught - that is difficult for me to get my head wrapped around. And like you, I go into my garden or scratch the critters. This is also one of the things I admire and appreciate about your blog so thank you for that. It's a moment's calm in a chaotic world. I really try to focus on the things that I can do something about, though at times it's tough.
Also, love Charles' scroll saw! What a beaut.
The majority of my family lives in Lebanon and the last several years have brought me quite low. Very good and kind people there have lost their loved ones, their homes, and businesses just because of the spot they were born on a map. They have nothing to do with the politics and suffer the most.
I cling to my home with my husband and daughter and try to make it a happy place even if I feel sad inside. We haven’t taken a trip in almost a year and we are finally taking advantage of April break and driving a few hours north to Vermont. We are staying for two nights at the Von Trapp family lodge (they offered a special teacher discount so we took advantage). The lodge was created by the Von Trapp family that escaped Nazi Austria. Yesterday we rewatched Sound of Music to get excited for the visit. Watching the movie reminded me that people can be courageous in the face of great injustice.
Take care, everyone. Thank you Grandma Donna for creating this happy community on line
Thank you so much for this post, Grandma Donna. I too am feeling so sad at the state of our world and although my faith helps enormously it doesn't take away the fact that such awful things are happening and people are suffering. Thank you too for reminding me that there are many, many good people in America. Living here in Australia I have to say that we sometimes look at your country and forget the good. I can only imagine the divide that exists, between friends, between neighbours and probably even in families. We need to bring people together. We need to remember that we are all human. AI terrifies me too...it may be helping in many ways but I worry that the damage it can do will outweigh any good. Our homes, our families, human relationships are the way out of this mess we are in but so few people seem to recognise this. It is like a herd of sheep being carried along in a wave that is quickly hurtling out of control. I am sending love to all those on this forum that we might all remain strong and resilient as we face these challenges and treat one another with love and respect.
I am so happy to see this post! I have been feeling very good about doing simple things. We've finished planting our flower border extension and our new rose bush. We don't ever have to plant anything in the front yard again because the flowers are either perennial or divide or set their own seed. It's a self-perpetuating flower garden. :) And we have all of the tools to take care of our yard without using gas, oil, or electricity we pay for. No matter what happens in the world, my flowers will always be there to brighten the days. :)
My inflation buster for this week is shoes. My favorite shoe company is going out of business, so I bought six pairs of shoes for the family. I normally pay between $95 and $115 a pair, but each pair of the six I bought today were $73 on sale. These shoes last a long time. With the shoes and the fabric I bought, I feel very secure about the future. I feel like no matter what comes up, I can take care of my family because I'm adding all the things I need to my store of household goods.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:1-2
We must not believe AI, it is a tool that, often, does not measure up. Our minds were created by God to be used and to be protected. What we put into our hearts and minds can cause turmoil or can bring peace.
Our homes should bring us joy and peace. I am old, but I am going to redecorate and move some rooms around again. Our homes should suit our preferences and bring us joy.
I cope by believing the Word of God and by making my home and life conducive to an aesthetic that brings me peace and joy. I have been way too lax about what I truly want for our home. It is never to late to be true to yourself.
I used to get upset with government, but I realized that it was my issue and I was not adhering to the Bible's guidance. We are to pray for our leaders, even if we totally disagree with their decisions. We have a serious problem of a division in this country that should not exist. God hates evil and to understand that we must know how the Word defines evil. There has been evil brewing and expanding in this country for several decades.
I will cope by trusting God, taking care of my home, enjoying my family, studying God's Word, planning our summer garden and continuing research and writing. We live in a world of Spiritual warfare and it is easy to be distracted by the battles.
Good afternoon:
It's understandable to feel sad/upset/angry/confused by the events happening that cause so much needless suffering; I've found one way I can reduce my anxiety is a great reduction in my time spent listening/watching to YouTube; there are lovely people on all of the social media platforms but even if every channel I watch is truthful (and I have no way to truly know this) and has the best intentions towards their viewers, I find it is simply too much to spend hours engaged with media, even if the content is fairly benign and I'm seeking information, for my brain :) I get twitchy and my brain races from thought to thought losing the ability to center myself and allow my own self to put forth my opinions based upon my experiences; and if I watch things late at night, oh my word...I'll be up until the dawn chorus fires up! and when I recount that day, I realize most of what I wished to accomplish has fallen by the proverbial wayside. I've disabled YouTube on my phone, I allow notifications only from my sms text, EMA, weather app and my phone app. I also greatly reduced the YouTube subscriptions to just a few that I find beneficial/enjoyable. I guess I try to understand what I can and cannot influence and I've gotten my doom scrolling under control by deleting a lot of things/apps and my accounts that by design are meant to influence my mind. Your writings, GDonna, are a Safe Place and thank you for continuing to be here and hold this door open for us--even when it is very hard-Sheila
edited to add: AI and the companies and governments who are embracing it...well, I don't even know what to do about it except when and where I can give my consumer dollars to as close to home as possible; I'm not sure how much that helps anyone but it's all I have in my toolbox...I edited once without adding anything so...sorry for the multiple edits
The little house finches in my yard like to pretend that they own the bird feeder. Mr. Cardinal has been coming by and doing a lot of watching, and occasionally helping himself to some birdseed. A couple of days ago he came to the backyard and let the little finches know that he was here to stay. If they jumped at him, he would put his head down quickly as if he'd peck them with his beak, though he was not close enough to do that. He was just warning them. He would sit on the fence and sing his songs. Today he brought Mrs. Cardinal with him. She was looking at different nesting materials, and they were trying out the lilac bush to see if they'd like to nest there. One of my mourning doves decided to waddle around the garden on his short little legs today. He would waddle this way, then that way. He'd waddle under a potato plant and disappear for a second, then his head would pop out the other side and he'd waddle over to see something else. I guess he was the garden inspector, making sure everything was right. :)
I watch the birds instead of thinking about the world or wondering why my favorite shoe company had to quit making shoes to make AI instead. AI is not going to mean as much to me as my comfy shoes. The world seems like one loss after another.
Stephanie G: Comfy shoes and comfortable clothing are necessities to me, also. Too many good companies have been eliminated by corporations and greed.
This too shall pass. I read one daily newspaper online, but avoid the radio and TV News because it is overwhelming.
The main road here was first built by the invading Romans in the first century, and there was the 11th century invasion. Our neighbouring village church has marks from the 14th century when all men had to practise archery for battle, and where arrows were sharpened on the stone, and it has musket ball holes from the English Civil War, 1642-51. The industrial towns and cities around here were bombed in Zeppelin raids in 1916-18, and bombed heavily in 1940-45, and by various terrorists more recently.
I have been under the weather with that wretched virus still going around, and the cold, wet weather has continued, but today I got the bedding washed and hung out in the garden and there was some sunshine and a good breeze to dry it. The apple trees and the cherry are in blossom and a large bumble bee buzzed around. It lifts the spirits to get out of doors, and we have lighter evenings now we are in British Summer Time.
The central heating boiler has been serviced, a good opportunity to turn out and tidy the airing cupboard. I hope that we won’t need the central heating on soon, the thermostat is set at 17°C in the day and 7°C at night. I have my winter thermal layers of clothing on still, as our elders said, “Ne’er cast a clout till May be out,” whether it means the month or the hawthorn, May blossom.
We shopped today at the local supermarket. There were no shortages and prices were not much changed though petrol and diesel especially, continue to increase in price every week. We are not planning any long journeys and try to combine appointments and necessary trips to save fuel.
We do what homemakers have always done, the day to day and seasonal tasks, the small things that fill our days, the quiet and calming routines, the small savings against future needs. We look for joy in the small things, a pot of tea, a few rock cakes from the oven, a few neat stitches where they were needed, blossom and a bumble bee.
Thank You for this Gr. Donna, I am trying not to be consumed with fear and worry over all the things going on but sometimes I will admit to giving into the feelings of despair. Mainly because I don't know what I as one person can do about any of it and then I read your blog and realize once again that I am not alone.
Today, I felt myself going into a bit of a "melt down" so I painted my front door! I painted it a purple somewhere between plum and eggplant. It is tedious fiddly work because it is a double glass doors so lots of trimming. By the time I was done I felt so much better. I guess for me when I am feeling low I just need to pick a job and get started.
I think a lot about my grandma having sons and sons in law in the service in 1942, how worried she must have been., and she still had kids at home. And all of this after coming thru the Great Depression with 6 very young kids......
I am not only concerned with AI but also all of the data centers being built. Here in Indiana it doesn't seem to matter whether no one wants them around they get built anyway.
My garden is only half tilled, hopefully it will be done this weekend and I can commence planting and caring for it. I find solace in playing in the dirt and I feel a connection to my ancestors at the same time.
I also made a double recipe of noodles today, some went into chicken and noodles and the rest are drying for sealing and storing in the pantry. I will continue making and drying noodles until all of the frozen eggs are used up. Adding to my stores a bit at a time.
Dear Grandma Donna, we know that, as in every place, there are good people as well as those who are greedy, cruel etc. Please don't feel that people outside your country lump all of you in together.
In Australia, we are approaching Anzac Day (Australia and New Zealand Army Corps), which is a rememberance of many troops in a particular event during WW1. As I contemplated this, it made me sad that many have made sacrifices in the hope that the benefits will be enjoyed by future generations, but here we are in a world still in conflict, despite the "war to end all wars".
Although geographically far from the trouble, I have many fears from which I try to take a break by focussing on the here and now, on the needs and challenges that are right in front of me in my home and neighbourhood.
Thanks to folk like you, we have the know-how and awareness to do this, and I thank you. Wishing everyone peace and safety.
Thank you Grandma Donna for this post. Just reading how others are getting through this sad and scary time in our lives is so helpful.
Nadya, I pray that your family, and all the other innocent people are safe in Lebanon and that this war ends soon.
I'm so thankful that it's Spring here and I can be outside in the warm sunshine and hear the birds....like "normal" days.
Grandma Donna, I am a very long time reader, signed up for the forums a while ago but have never before posted - felt a little intimidated to be honest. If what I say below is too political or controversial, then please delete this post. I will try to be very careful and respectful. Know please that this post is accompanied by fervent prayer to guide what I am saying.
I have felt that ‘little voice’ urgently telling me to research the provenance of the stories that are being pounded into us about world happenings. Most of the ‘news’ is or seems to be regurgitation of publications by a few organizations who are (sometimes almost violently) biased in one way or another. The research I’ve done has shown that we are being lied to about literally everything for the express purpose of causing the feelings of anxiety and overwhelming despair that we are feeling. That is a bold statement. I absolutely believe it to be true.
My son was stationed in Baghdad for a year at the beginning of the Gulf war. We heard awful things from ‘the trusted names in news’. He came home on leave and got VERY upset about what we had heard. The two big main news organizations (not networks) had been embedded with their unit. The ‘news’ people repeatedly published secret things they had been told were secret. One of them caused an ambush - my son had an rpg pass inches from his head. He told us, with pretty colorful language, to never, ever, ever, EVER believe a word coming out of a news organization.
We are being lied to. By all of the people putting out this data. They want us to be on edge and anxious. With respect, please don’t fall for it. There are things happening, this is true. These things absolutely should not be happening IF what we are being told is true. But the news is being presented in a way to maximize the lies. It is being wildly exaggerated and skewed for maximum impact. I go to sources with legitimate studies, not those screeching at the tops of their lungs. And I divide what I hear in half and then subtract.
I don’t mean any controversy but it hurts me to know that those of you who (even though you have not heard of me before), I feel I ‘know’ through your pcomments are this anxious and upset.
Again if this is too much, please delete the post.
Nadya, I am so sorry about your family and please know that nothing I wrote was directed to you. You know the truth and have told us the truth. Thank you. I can’t imagine having a war ‘on my front step’. May all of this be done now.
My husband served in the military for 22 years. Combat deployed twice. He said the same exact thing about what they say happening and what really is happening. Never believe what they say on the news.
I can vouch for Connie!!
An interesting and inciteful post. I won't come into either religion or politics, it's not on my agenda. I hear a spattering of news and take it all with a grain of salt, never believing what I hear most of the time but take the core of it and analyse it if possible. Not for one minute do I believe any nation is to blame for what its leaders decide to do, be it good or bad - it's never ever those people who suffer, it's always the innocent ones who pay the price for the not well thought out decisions of the hierarchy whichever country they come from.
I lament the old kind of neighbourhood where people knew people and were helpful, looked out for them, and cared - now we rarely even know who our neighbours are much less having them look out for us. Once we used to connect with, have parties with, could call on and care for our friends and neighbours - but not now. Such is the way the world has become. And I won't even go there with AI - that will be the end of all of it.
Everything is disposable, nothing is quality or made to last, we're definitely a throw-away society - and I won't even think of all the excess packaging which is so unnecessary.
So I try to focus on the good things - such as my lovely aunt who turned 100 last Monday and had four, yes four, birthday parties including the official one last Saturday - she has seen it all and has lived through it, and still lovely, positive, and enjoying life including drinking her two glasses of scotch a day (maybe that has preserved her!! haha) - a lovelier lady you'd be hard pressed to imagine and she's my dad's baby sister, he was the eldest, she the youngest.
As I am getting older things have shifted for me quite a bit, especially in this last year. I have read this forum for years and it just relates to me so much. While we do live more modern, I so long for the simpler life. I work in the IT department at work, as a support person. All of the technology that we have today is just too much. Last month I decided to retire at the end of December this year and hope to focus on my family and my home.
A simpler life is definitely what so many of us need.
While we here seem to want a simpler life I wonder do many others desire that?
I hear complaints in my own family but not one is willing to give up what they have for that simpler life! TV subscriptions, expensive hobbies, dinners out, junk food. Etc.
So many things people consider a standard part of life that didn't even exist 25-40 years ago.
My husband was complaining we hadn't been on vacation. I said my grandparents didn't go on vacation. Our family vacation was to go see them.
I think too many people are too caught up in themselves to ever really think about what's best for others around them.
You're right, we're most of us too addicted to the modern way of life - we here watch a little of the mindless television (just a couple of programmes we like) which are free to air - never ever am I going to pay for a subscription to stream television for something I really don't want ot watch anyway. We don't pay any subscriptions, not to YouTube, television, music or anything else - if it's not available, we go without. As for phones, I use mine for emails occasionally if the desk top computer isn't on, texts or calls which don't cost me anything, and apart from that I download free books from the library and read them on the phone if I don't have a physical book to read. My phone is definitely NOT part of me or who I am and I don't let it rule my life.
We in "Simpler Living Land" can do without all these things. Some things are probably necessary although not totally needed but we use them as we can - but as for relying on modern day things, I've actually got rid of most of my fancy apliances and donated them, and gone back to the old ways. I cook on the stove top, I gave away my slow cooker and everything else of that ilk, and just do things my way which satisfies me more than ever.
Humanity seems to learn nothing. Governments can't get along, wars start, and the population suffers the most.
In World War II, my immediate family lost five members. Why? For what? I still don't understand it.
Sibylle
My heart goes out to all the millions of good, kind people who are watching with horror as their politicians and governments inflict so much hurt and pain on others. All we can do is live by our own high standards and hope that at some point the shift in power will come.
There are very few people that I follow on YouTube or Instagram these days, mostly folk who are living the frugal, simple life that I aspire to and if anything looks remotely like it was AI generated I switch it off
Sibylle it’s interesting that you say about adjusting your garden to the hot, dryer summers that we seem to be experiencing in Europe nowadays, that’s very true of my region of England but the winter just gone was one of the wettest on record so have to admit to struggling to know what’s best to plant in such up and down weather. The conclusion I’ve come to is that to make sure my soil is the best state that it can be and lay down plenty of mulch to cope with such a swing in conditions.
Good morning ???? (I'm unsure if the little sunflower emoji works properly here but I'm hoping so)
Nadya H I'm not sure of what to say except I'm so sorry for your family and anyone else living in a war
Joyce C the thought of your freshly painted purple somewhere-between-plum-and-eggplant door makes me smile :) I have a fondess for art depicting front doors although I'm not sure why :) and I love to see a beautiful front door into which someone has invested care and his/her own love
Pam your aunt Ruby is beautiful! and many happy returns of the day
Janet W "We do what homemakers have always done, the day to day and seasonal tasks, the small things that fill our days, the quiet and calming routines, the small savings against future needs. We look for joy in the small things, a pot of tea, a few rock cakes from the oven, a few neat stitches where they were needed, blossom and a bumble bee." Beautifully and wisely said--thank you :)
and Shari B wow! congratulations on your soon-to-be retirement! it'll be lovely :)
edited to add:
Sibylle M Would you mind sharing some of those southern European gardening tips?
I always leave GDonna's forum with a better frame of mind :)
Stephanie G. , what brand are those shoes you mention?
Thank you Connie A and Christine Marie R, for speaking truth. My grandson said the same thing when he got back from deployment in the Middle East; the news was all lies.
Research as to the facts and actual truth is very wise. News agencies make money off of scared and anxious people that they can keep stirred up with lies.There is a reason that the news agencies want division in the U.S. amongst citizens; a house divided cannot stand. Ideological differences have always existed but not to a state of such violence or division. Logically, there is an agenda for that manipulation.
May we all see through this and stay united. "United we stand, divided we fall." Our children and grandchildren's futures depend on our emotional intelligence to get through this chaos to peace.
There is deep strength in friendships that can manage differences of opinions and ideology and still stay strong. Our future country depends on God first and foremost, then, we the people uniting in shared wisdom and kindness.
Many blessings to each of you.
Pam S The brand is Allbirds. They have a ballerina flat style that whenever I wear them, people want to know where I got them. They always remark on how cute and comfy they look.
Pam I love your aunt! She looks so nice. No wonder she has to have so many birthday parties to include all of the people who love her. :)
This is grandma Donna here, I deleted part of this post due to links in the post. I cannot be certain of direct links and just do not want that responsibility should there be a virus. I hope that you understand my concerns. Thank you, Grandma Donna
Written by Sibylle: Yes, I understand the concerns, which is why I wrote that you should please delete it if it's not okay with you.
I'm honestly struggling to deal with how selfish most people around me are being about the war. It feels like they only care about how it effects them and are missing the bigger picture. Innocent children are being bombed in our name, and my friends are whining about gas prices? I don't even know how to respond to that. Where is their compassion for the real victims? Somewhere in the murky world of letting their technology do the thinking for them, most have let their internal moral compasses get rusty.
I'm coping by doing what little I can to help in some small way. Even if that's just signing a petition or making a modest donation to Avaaz, at least I'm taking a conscious action toward a better world. I try to do at least one small action every single day. Some days that's just picking up all the returnable cans I see on my morning walk (worth 10¢ each in Michigan) and donating the money from them. I can usually find 5 to 10 dollars worth. It's not much but at least it's something!
Stephanie G, our baby wrens fledged three days ago and our chickadees just fledged as well. Mommy and Daddy birds have been so busy to and from their nests while we have been out in the garden planting and adding new beds. s mommy chickadee was buzzing around Charles and I while were in the garden close to her nest. I enjoyed reading your backyard wildlife activity. :)
Connie A, I understood that you questioned that what you were about to write was going to be somewhat political because you stated; If what I say is too political or controversial, then please delete this post. Also you wrote, We are being lied to by all of the people putting out this data. They want us to be on edge and anxious. As you see, I left it up because I respect your opinion and is something that is troubling to you. I have seen families split apart because of their differences of which news channel they watch or the way they perceive the news. This is a touchy topic but your comment matters to us. I am happy to know you are reading the blog and have started writing in the forum.
To everyone, This moment in time that we are in is terribly exhausting to some people, one of those people is myself. I would be very concerned about myself if things that are happening did not upset me. I am working through it and it is okay to feel emotions. It is a difficult time for many people, for many different reasons, my neighbors just moved away because they had to walk away from their home due to no longer being able to afford to pay for their utilities and their home. A foot injury caused a job loss because he could not stand up to work, thus he lost his medical insurance at a time he needed surgery and still needs surgery.
Many people do not feel the effects of the economy due to their income but many people have a budget so tight that any increase down to the dollar makes or breaks the budget.
Here in our forum we are sharing our experiences. I feel that we have grown as a group and become stronger to handle new situations. Some people have stopped watching or reading the news, and some people feel the need to know and there is no right or wrong about this. Please allow others to feel as they do, not how we want them to be. There is healing both ways and we are all on our own life journey. If we are on the internet we have access to do our own research to find out if something is true or not true, we can research history, or recipes or most anything. I love to research.
We are all different in what makes us comfortable or uncomfortable and I am starting to fully understand this myself and the comments in the forum has given me much insight. I feel that I am growing through this and I know that I have learned much from all of you and I hope that some of you feel this too. . You have wonderful and interesting perspectives on many topics.
Pam, what a wonderful and beautiful picture of your Aunt for her 100th birthday.
Tea S, I understand your concerns, it is very difficult to make sense of these things that are happening. I think that you and I and some others here are empaths and this is okay. What you are doing matters because you have feeling and that matters a lot today because you are not numb to everything. I think that it is wonderful what you are doing and most importantly you are actually taking those steps to do something about what you feel is important. (Hugs,) Donna
Two things happened within two days that made me wonder about what the world is coming to. The first was about an order I'd placed with a company I buy from, for some sale items. This is my stockpile year, so I look for sales. The items are made to order, but they had passed their usual shipping date. I sent an email and all it said was could I please have a shipping update, and have a nice day. The email I got back was falling all over itself in apologies, and pointing out that made to order items take longer, and they'll give me some store credit to make me feel better, and they hoped I wouldn't cancel the order, but they would understand if I did. I wrote back saying that from the tone of their email, I suspected that they have to deal with a lot of angry people, and that they could keep their store credit, that all I needed was to make sure my order hadn't gotten lost. They wrote back thanking me for my kindness.
The second was a delivery pizza I ordered. We all know in this forum that we try to always make food ourselves, but that sometimes we have one of those days! I ordered light sauce on the pizza, and it was delivered covered very generously in extra sauce. Extra sauce makes my tummy upset. I called to let them know their mistake, and again they were overly apologetic, and sounded relieved that I wasn't yelling at them.
What is going on with these poor customer service people? Are people really that awful with them that it's a rarity when someone acts with normal courtesy?
I am so sad for how the world is going.
Thank you for all or your thoughtful responses. I am soon to be retired, and find myself wanting to “retire” from our current chaotic world as well. Grandma Donna thank you for your wisdom about other ways to live!
A question as well: I can no longer access Rhonda Hetzel’s blog through the link you provided. She is requiring an invitation, can you help me get access to that? Thank you
Anne V, welcome to the forum, we are happy that you have made a comment. Rhonda has retired her blog, there is no invitation to read her blog. She has stopped her blog and there is no way for the public to view her blog. The invitation message that is shown when trying to access her blog is just a generic message put up by her blog server.
Rhonda and Gracie are having a happy retirement at their home, cooking, knitting, keeping her home and gardening. There is no way to view her blog. With Ai today and people stealing information from other peoples blogs it is no longer safe to let a retired blog stay up.
Love seeing your photographs.
The best thing I did for our sanity was get rid of the TV about 3 years ago. There was nothing new that was good programming and the rest were advertisements! I only watch Britbox on my laptop and also watch a lot of soothing YouTube videos. I read books which to me is much more relaxing. I'm currently reading up on "Sisu" which is a concept people in Finland follow. I'm trying to find out about other cultures and how they stay peaceful and perhaps I can adopt some of their ways in addition to going back to basics and a more simple life. I also attend a classic movie group meeting every Thursday evening that is in a historic home. It's free and we watch a lot of the wonderful old movies. Last night was Dodsworth filmed in 1936. Next week is Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn. I'm so grateful we have this activity where I live.
On Wednesday we went to the Old Order Mennonite community again for some seedlings and because we find it such a peaceful place to go and recharge ourselves. It was lovely seeing the newly tilled and some planted fields.
One new thing I started doing, is darning my husband's socks. For some reason a hole develops in the big toe area after just a few times of wearing. The rest of the sock looks brand new! Socks have gotten so expensive that I just cannot throw them out when there is still so much good in them. So the other night when I had to work the midnight shift at my 911 job, I took my old wood darning egg and supplies and sat darning socks in between calls. I got so many comments and questions from coworkers walking by wanting to know what I'm doing! :) Most of the younger people didn't even know you could "fix socks"!! It was very relaxing to do the darning and a good stress reliever at a stressful job.
I love our community of kindred spirits here. In a world that feels out of control, it's nice to come here and read about everyone's simpler life doings. Thanks to Grandma Donna for your posts and for everyone else's comments.
Again a lot of interesting comments, and looking at the way different people face different situations. I find it so sad - and I must admit totally incredible - that our leaders seem to feel they can inflict harm on the innocent to achieve (or not) what they think is the right thing. Once upon a time, democracy meant by the people for the people but this seems to have gone out the window. I don't know about the rest of the world but here the general consensus is that the politicians feather their own pockets first and boy, do they get all the lurks and perks available, long after they retire from politics - sorry, Donna, I know that sounds political but I'm only stating a generic situation. Delete if you feel it's not appropriate.
I listen to a tiny bit of the news and that's all, having realised many decades ago just how biased the reporting is - so just to keep on top of a general idea of what's going on in the world, I listen to five or ten minutes of it most days but not all. We don't watch much television as most of the shows are reality rubbish, so we have other simple pleasures - reading, we both do jigsaws, I enjoy crosswords - can't do much craft these days as my hands won't let me but I still do mending and basic sewing. My mum was a dressmaker, still had her sister's dress on the model the day she died - it stood there watching us while we organised her funeral with the minister, reminding me that she never gave up doing things. She was born in 1912, married in 1936, had five children, two of whom died as babes a few months old - she went through the hard times, the depression, both world wars and survived to tell the tale.
Your posts always give me hope and inspiration. How I wish I could do any of the gardening you do. I do get distressed when I realize how far apart my husband and I are. He constantly wants “new.” If something doesn’t work immediately, his answer is to get a new one. I’m not sure how he was raised, but I was raised to fix, to work around, to use what you have, or wait until the “new” one is more affordable. Most of our income is based on my pension, but he expects me to get him what he wants. Sorry for the complaining.
Speaking of fixing things, our ceiling fan in the living room that wasn't rotating just needed a new battery in the remote to make the wall switches work. If anyone ever gets the idea that we are geniuses at fixing things at my house, that will show you we're not. :) And my bedroom ceiling fan that wasn't rotating, all of a sudden went rrr, rrr, rrr and then started rotating! But the rrr, rrr noise means it's probably the motor, and now we know what part to replace when it stops again.
Kathy D You don't have to be sorry for complaining. I'm sure its very frustrating!
And I apologise for complaining too. But both my husband and I are on the same page, fix it if you can and if not, do we really need to replace it - and so on. We've struggled all our lives so no different now, we have always 'made do' where we had to and we're none the worse for it.
Kathy D, no worries! I find it reassuring to know I'm not the only one with a spouse who's less enthusiastic about saving and living simple.
Stephanie G, I am chuckling at your customer service stories. Several years ago I had worked 14 hours in the office, had an hour commute back home and had to be awake in 7 hours for another work day. I was cranky, irritated and hungry so I pulled into a Mexican fast food restaurant’s drive through. I ordered and the kid behind the speaker took a d-e-e-p breath and said very quickly ‘We have run out of cheddar cheese and we are substituting nacho cheese. Is that all right?’ I told him that I was fine with that. He stuttered uh uh uh uh. Please pull around.
The manager was at the window with all the employees around him. He said that they ran out of cheddar at 3 pm (it was then 11) and I was the first customer who hadn’t yelled at them. Tired cranky me said, ‘Wow. The worst thing in their lives is that they get melted cheddar instead of unmelted cheddar on a taco. Those people are pathetic.’ (Yeah, tired cranky and tactful do not occupy the same space in my world). The whole crew gaped at me for a good 15-20 seconds, then burst out laughing. The manager gave me my food for free and a coupon for another free meal. But I was serious - yelling at people over cheese?
Grandma Donna, thank you for your kind words. I am one whose family has split apart. Two of my three adult children have cut ties with me and my third child because of politics. My oldest has three children, two are adults and they have not cut ties. I have not been allowed to see the youngest, now 13, for years. My youngest, with whom I have a wonderful relationship, is married with a 4 and a 1 year old. I am privileged to watch them while their parents work. It is an awful thing to be estranged.
I haven’t read all the replies yet to this post but I will after I write this. I wasn’t actually sure which post to reply to as what I want to say is more general.
I've been reading and occasionally replying for a long time but I still feel lost and don’t know where to start.
I am 54, in the UK, currently living with my 2 youngest children aged 17 and almost 16 and my 3rd child aged 25. I am divorced( he was the father of the 4 older children) and have no contact with that side of the family. youngest children’s dad died in 2018 but we split up in 2011. I don’t work as I have multiple chronic illnesses. My house is a MESS. Cluttered. Full of things. And I don’t know what to do about it. I have very little energy day to day even to cook or put a wash on. I love a very sedentary lifestyle and I hate it. I have mobility issues and use a rollator outdoors. I recently fell near my car so my balance is getting worse. I love love love seeing all the photos but I wish so much my house looked more like that. I don’t have a routine for anything and I don’t know how or where to start. I almost feel like I need someone holding my hand every day and telling me what to do next so I can learn that way.
And it’s not just that. Prices here are going up so high for everything. Petrol is £1.65 a litre. It used to cost me £35 to fill my tank and now it’s £52. Food prices are going up. I want to be the kind of person who cooks at home and sets the table and have everyone enjoy a meal but my kitchen table is covered in boxes and junk and I don’t have any other tables. There’s nowhere for people to sit even. My 2nd daughter recently helped rearrange the living room but that’s left a whole stack of stuff that doesn’t fit anywhere and I don’t know what to do with it. My 3rd child is living here “temporarily” and sleeping on the sofa in the living room but it’s been almost a year and they’re not showing any signs of moving out. They’re not working and although I don’t mind the company it feels like I never get a chance to just sit on the sofa and relax.
I have hobbies like knitting and making keychains and photography but don’t do them much. I want to enjoy gardening but I don’t. We don’t get much sun on that side of the house so not much grows. I don’t even have a clothesline as there’s nowhere to attach one.
I’m very frustrated both with myself and with the house and everyone in it.
Please someone help me start somewhere. I just don’t know where. I want to make changes I just don’t know how to do it and deal with the pain and fatigue and my physical limitations.
I do sometimes wonder had I lived 50 years ago would I have been healthier? I would have had to do things more as there wouldn’t have been all the modern day conveniences. Maybe I wouldn’t have become ill and gained so much weight. I want to go back to a simpler time. I’m so stressed all the time now for so many reasons, some of which I can’t change. I’m honestly exhausted just waking up every day. I hate being in my kitchen because of the clutter. I hate all my rooms for the same reason. I don’t know what to do.
Kasia A What a lot of helpers you have! You are so fortunate. :) When I was recovering from surgery and couldn't do anything, I had my son and husband do all of the things I couldn't. You've got a very helpful daughter and three sons. That's quite a crew. I'll bet they could have those boxes off of the table in no time! :)
That’s the problem. They won’t help. With anything. My youngest son does take the rubbish out but that’s it. My 25 year old also has chronic illnesses and will occasionally wash up. My 17 year old just refuses to do anything, even clear up after dinner. My 2nd daughter lives in a different town so she can’t help much. My eldest daughter works full time and is dealing with trying to buy her house and renovate it ( her relationship failed and they had bought the house together) and my 4th daughter also works full time and doesn’t really keep in contact except to ask to borrow money. I wish I could rely on them to help but I can’t. When I was ill recently nobody even thought to wash the dishes for 4 days while I was ill. I don’t have any friends in my town either. I feel guilty asking my parents to help when they’re 78 and 79.
This post and comments have been so reassuring to me, just proof there are others out there who feel as I do. Grandma Donna, what you wrote about tears welling up when watching a video where the "normal" shone through... that really hit home. I've had that same experience lately.
We kind of keep to our own little bubble by choice and do what we can to make "our world" right. My work in higher education and "mom support" for my grown children are what I can do to influence the world outside of our home, so that's what I try to focus on. I like that these things are invisible in a way. Promoting education and science through my work feels like an act of resistance to this cultural... whatever it is. My oldest, a high tech worker in a far away city, comes home and cooks his own dinner because it's better and I taught him how. I feel like that's a victory for my way of life. Just a couple of examples.
Kasia A, I am sorry you are struggling. I think wanting it to be different enough to write it down and share your feelings says something though - you have motivation and you can do this. Maybe slowly, but you can do this! What has helped me when I have felt overwhelmed is to focus on one small thing. If I don't know where to start, I do the kitchen sink. Clear out the stuff in the drainer, and clean the sink itself. Then you can wash and dry even one dish at a time, if that's what you have energy for. Another idea is that kitchen table. Pick one chair, one spot at the table, clear it up and clean it. Just that spot. Then you have your base of operations, kind of one small thing you can keep control of. Just keep clearing stuff that accumulates off that one "sacred" spot. When I've taken that approach, after a while I've been able to gradually expand the area that is under control. But even if not, having even one small area can bring an amazing amount of mental peace. (When my kids were little - with autism, baby twins and a serious congenital heart defect in the mix - it was the window seat in my bedroom. No matter what it took, I cleared that one spot every night and when I woke up I looked at that spot before I faced the chaos!)
Kasia A, I understand and MANY of us understand where you are right now. Do not feel alone, it is very difficult to get started when things are like they are right now. I know how it is when there is no space to put anything to clean off an area but let's try.
Please ask your children to clean their rooms first, if they do not do this, then tell them to clean their room. Are they living with you, or are you living with them? If they are living with you, give them one week to be finished cleaning their room and none or their things can be stored anywhere outside of their room. They need to purge and clean.
Let us try this together, anyone here that is having the same issues that Kasia is having, let us do it together. Do it even if your house is clean, let us do it together with Kasia. (Group Hug) This is Saturday April 18th. Clean the kitchen sink, scrub the faucet area and behind the faucet, scrub the sink. Then clear the left and the right of the sink. Throw away anything that is not needed. Leave only what is needed to be there to wash the dishes. When you get done, rest if you need to.
The sink will get dirty again the same day so don't get frustrated with this but make sure that the children do their part with keeping the sink clean.
The next step will be clear the table but only when you are ready but by tomorrow some time. If you cannot do that today, then tomorrow clear the table. Set it on the floor in a corner for now. Let us know when you cleaned the kitchen sink area. Sometimes once we get started we will keep going but not always.
Now I want you to read this post below that I did. Do this physically, lets all do it with her with thoughts of Kasia doing it with her.
https://gdonna.com/living-like-the-past/cross-the-...
I will get back with your when let us know where you are and anyone else that is doing this let us know if you have done this. I will do this too. Grandma Donna
Lots of people have trouble requiring respectful behavior from others. None of us are born knowing how to do everything. That's why we're all here learning from Grandma Donna. :) We can ask for help in learning how to require respectful behavior from others.
@Erika C and @Grandma Donna (I don’t know if this will put your names in bold )
Thank you both so much for taking the time to write such long thoughtful replies. I actually cried a little bit. I have cleaned my sink!!
I’m now making dinner ( it’s almost 5pm here). I won’t be able to tackle the table today. I almost didn’t dare as I’m so embarrassed and ashamed but I’ve attached a photo to show you how bad it is. As you can see the floor around it is as bad as the table and picking things up off the floor is difficult for me.
I did also do 2 loads of washing - I put them outside on the portable racks but it’s windy today so things keep blowing off. I really need to get my clothesline set up.
Just looking at the table is making me feel so overwhelmed. I don’t know where to begin.
I’ve added a photo of dinner being made too.
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